Less than a week after Pokémon Go’s launch, our streets are already filled with packs of phone-wielding, Weedle-catching zombies. They’re robbing our teens, filling our churches with sinners, and tricking our children into exercising. But worst of all, Pokémon Go is turning us all into an army of narcs in service of the coming New World Order.
If you’ve been even vaguely tuned in to the overactive Hillary Clinton conspiracy mill over the years, you’ve likely heard about the questions of Chelsea Clinton’s paternity. But for those who haven’t, here’s how this song goes: Bill Clinton is sterile, and Chelsea’s real father is Clinton confidant and federal tax evader Webb Hubbell.
A dead Supreme Court Justice, a mysterious pillow, missing autopsies, the 10-year anniversary of Dick Cheney shooting a guy in the face, and he was a mere 79 years young. Whether or not these factors have any bearing on what happened to Antonin Scalia is irrelevant, because put together, it’s a conspiracy theorist’s dream come true.
On this day, February 2, in the year 2014, newly minted New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio dropped a groundhog from his formidable six-foot six-inch stance. A week later, that very same groundhog was found dead. The Staten Island Zoo claims the two events were unrelated—whether you believe them, is a different matter entirely.
As any good Champion of Truth knows, the alleged moon landing was, of course, an elaborate sham constructed by Hollywood and NASA to distract the rest of the world from our newly acquired Nazi UFO technology. And as any reasonable person knows, that is bullshit. Or—according to a fake new video of a BOMBSHELL fake Stanley Kubrick interview—is it?!
Did the moon landings really happen? I have no clue, I’m not an astronaut, but NASA certainly wants you to think so—they’ve released 8,400 high-res moon landing pictures that they say are definitely real and not at all photoshopped, curiously timed with the release of The Martian, which I’m sure is just a coincidence, right??
Donald Trump, the 69-year-old New York real estate mogul and unrepentant bigot, continues to dominate the Republican presidential primary polls. Trump’s sudden ascendance, accelerated by his willingness to insult virtually any ostensible ally within the conservative movement, has left GOP leaders dumbfounded. How did this caricature of a Republican politician, who has never held elected office, and whose personal ideology is remarkably fluid, usurp more experienced, more conservative, and better-funded candidates like Jeb Bush and Scott Walker? Within this vacuum of understanding, an almost-believable conspiracy theory has obtained currency: Donald Trump is in fact a false flag candidate whose actual mission is electing Hillary Clinton as President.
On June 19, a fisherman found the body of Dr. James Bradstreet—a forceful proponent of the bunk theory that vaccines are linked to autism—in a North Carolina river, with a gunshot wound through his chest. Three days later, chiropractors Bruce Hedendal and Baron Holt were separately found dead, and eight days after that, Dr. Theresa Sievers was murdered in her home. What the hell is going on here?